Passing into the Next World

September 24, 2008

I'm not good with death and I'm not good with death from a distance. Really, what is a good way to deal with death? Is anyone good at sitting with it? A few hours before the presentation that I was to give tonight, Rachel, my older sister called me to share that they were going to be euthanizing Mocha, their dog of 13 1/2 years. My heart plummeted with pangs of sadness I hadn't experienced since Lily's (my beloved cat) death in 2003.

I had a bond with Mocha that was very special. She was like a little sister to me. I took her on special walks. I loved how she brought toys and shoes to the door to greet me, EVERY single time I came to the door. She had a calm demeanor and a sweet spirit that will always be with me. I remember the first day I met her back in 1994 when Rachel (and then Chris) brought her to our college apartments on campus. She was a tiny little thing and boy was she playful. She dragged a HUGE stuffed animal around the living room of the apartment building we lived in.

Seven months ago, Mocha was diagnosed with cancer and Rachel had made countless, dedicated trips for chemo treatments to shrink the tumors that had taken over her body. It wasn't until 3 days ago that she started to show signs of real slowing down and then Rachel knew it was time to let her go.

I finished my talk somewhere around 8p and she was to be put to sleep 30 minutes later. I was to head to a Jewish leadership and literacy class I'm enrolled in, but I didn't have the heart to go. I wanted to be "with" my family and the next closest thing to being home was to be there on the phone by there side. I had made the commitment to do this speaking engagement and could barely be present throughout. In fact, I think it may have been one of the lowest quality presentations I have ever done. I called around 8:15p and she had just fallen asleep in my niece, Alyssa's arms. The image of that brought an avalanche of tears to my eyes.

I lit a candle someone had given to me specifically for animal passings and said a blessing for her, "May this light steer you as you pass into the next world. May you know how loved you are by all of us." I woke up constantly throughout the night to the lit candle which cast a shadow around the room...a shadow that somehow provided a little bit of comfort. I miss you so much already, dear Mocha.

The Earth is Not an Ashtray

I am going to step up on the soapbox for a moment. Forgive me. I spent the morning of the 7th anniversary of September 11th picking up cigarette butts on my walk. I've developed an idea for a local campaign called "Butt Ugly." If there's one complaint I have about Portland, it's that the smoking waste is alarming and maddening. I don't know why, but smoking wasn't very common in San Diego, so it sticks out like a sore thumb here.

I decided that I could become more and more frustrated about cigarette trash or that I could so something about it. So, I started to collect cigarettes...I know, gross, but would I rather look at garbage or clean sidewalks? The more I noticed, the more I became obsessed about getting every cigarette off the ground and doing an educational campaign about the true price of tobacco - the insidious addictions, the animal testing, the watershed pollution, and the predatory advertising to youth and developing countries. Insert scream here!

In honor of September 11th, I decided to continue on my activist bent, so one-by-one, I called several companies from which I had accumulated junk mail. It was so gratifying to check each name of the list!

Citi - 30 days to remove my name

Northwest Airlines - 4-6 mo and I would be removed from the free mileage program, "World Perks" Ok, fine. Wait, what? I try to reduce some waste in the world and I'm penalized for it!

Netflix - 30 days

Comcast - 30 days

Southwest Airlines - 3 mo

Qwest - 3 mo

Crickets....dwindling summer days....

September 22, 2008

Just moments ago, the last minutes of summer dwindled away. I woke up this morning fairly early to bring my first day of autumn in with a swing. I enjoyed some hot tea outside, read an excerpt from my book about "finding" loving partnership and watched my kitty roam. Mist lifted off of the ground from a previously rainy night and there was a nip in the air. I could literally feel the equinox (derived from Latin "equi" meaning equal and Latin "nox" meaning night) in my bones.

I will miss the warmer evenings of chirping crickets....I wonder where they all go when the fall rolls around. Crickets have always been a favorite of mine. Perhaps that started with one of my favorite books as a kid, "The Cricket in Times Square" by George Selden. I adored that book.

Chester Cricket is the main protagonist... a musically talented country cricket from Connecticut is accidentally transported to the 42nd Street Subway Station in New York City, andfinds shelter in a newsstand and makes friends with Mario, a young boy, Tucker the Mouse and Harry the Cat.

***I digress***

In that same vein, a little factoid about crickets! Crickets do not rub their hind legs together to chirp. The left forewing of the male has a thick rib (a modified vein). The chirp (which only male crickets can do) is generated by raising their left forewing to a 45 degree angle and rubbing it against the upper hind edge of the right forewing, which has a thick scraper. This sound producing action is called "stridulation" and the song is species-specific.

I hope you enjoyed the digressions as much as I did.

To geekiness, D

Vaux Swift Amazement

September 3, 2008

Each September, thousands of migrating Vaux's Swifts use a local school, Chapman Elementary's chimney as their nightly roost before continuing their journey to southern Central America and parts of Venezuela. Up to 30,000 birds swoop down in a vortex, almost dive bombing the chimney in shifts. It's truly an amazing sight.

This phenomenon has been happening since 1982 and when Chapman's kids refused to use their chimney out of concern for the birds, they layered themselves in warm clothing as a source of heat. That melted my heart. Pun intended.

The first night I appeared on the scene, I saw a sign "I love S.P.! Meetup.com SP!" Perhaps that was Swift Patrol. The numbers went from dozens of people to hundreds of people. Only in Portland would people be cheering and applauding for birds and not fireworks.

I've returned a few times and have picnicked with friends.

Oregon Coast....

August 24, 2008

It had been nearly five months since I had seen the coast and I was missing it terribly. I was itching to get out and move and the gray, cold morning heightened these emotions. I decided to jump in the car with Charlie and take a drive to the Oregon Coast. It's a straight shot on the 26W route and it meanders through endless green and old farms. The hardest part of the trip was witnessing the remnants of logging....the superficial, thin line of trees left to give the false appearance of thick groves. I was angry that I had to think about such sadness, but beauty and ugliness exist side-by-side.

And I quickly saw the beauty...Haystack Rock, which is a 235-foot tall monolith (or sea stack), the third-tallest such structure in the world. The rock is adjacent to the beach and accessible by foot during low tide. Haystack Rock tide pools are home to many intertidal animals, including starfish, anemone, crabs, chitons, limpets, and sea slugs. The rock is also a refuge for many sea birds, including terns and puffins.

I enjoyed the sand in between my toes and the surrounding green. It made me miss Southern California for the first time since I've moved to Portland. I found a blanket in the back of my car and laid in the sunshine for what seemed like awhile.

I strolled through the cute, tourist (yet not saturated touristy) downtown and ended up at Sweet Basil where I sat outside in a little booth and ordered a really good grilled panini. The upbeat, friendly waiter smiled at Charlie. That caught my attention.

Timber's - The Local Soccer Phenomenon

June 5, 2008

Last September, my soccer-loving cousin, Avie treated me to a Timber's soccer game at PGE stadium on 18th and Salmon, smack dab in the middle of the city. It was one of the classier, well-designed stadiums that I have ever seen. The architecture is filled with so much character here. It's refreshing.

Mascot, Timber Joe bolted around the stadium wielding a live chainsaw around the field, cutting off a slab of a log each time the team scored. Slightly meshiginah. I had to stifle the treehugger in me to digest this. I hadn't witnessed this kind of energy in a long time. The Timbers Army is the center of fan support, with a number of rousing and raunchy choruses. Timbers fans engage in great amounts of cultural appropriation.

Who knew the Pacific Northwest was such a bevy of sports activity?

Bike Heaven

In late July, July 26, 2008 to be precise, I was gifted a two-year-old bike from my neighbor, Martha. She mentioned it was rusty and needed some work and that the chains needed replacing. The bike looked practically brand new when she brought it over. I've been able to ride it to and from work (6 miles round trip) without a snag.

Literally, the day before I had shared a wish with myself that having a bike would sure make tooting around Portland a lot easier and fun (mine was stolen before I moved out of San Diego). I also knew that I had to start preparing for my 35-mile Tour d' Organic ride event. Holy rollers, was I out of biking shape! My friend, Eric was so incredibly patient with me, waiting along the side of the road for me to catch up. At some point, I kvetched that the organizers said the journey was mostly flat and how could they include these major hills! Eric retorted, "That's what they mean by MOSTLY flat!!" We laughed together.

My bike is a like a friend and while I have yet to name her, I'm thrilled about my new companion.

The final numbers are in... this September participants of the Bike Commute Challenge (a biking contest amongst local businesses and NPO's) logged more than one million miles! This year 10,689 people from 1073 workplaces logged miles, and 2,869 of those people reported themselves to be new bike commuters. Very impressive.

The Everlasting Birthday Weekend

August 9 & 10, 2008

I start my birthday weekend off at the Nia studio dancing my heart out. The music enters my bones and I am so happy to unwind on this Friday evening.

Per the Zinester's Guide to Portland: "Where are the East coasters going to get their jones, especially late at night? Fortunately, there's one beacon of hope in the donut darkness of PDX. This place is literally a hole-in-the wall, complete with the Portland's Smallest Stage."

On the Saturday eve before my birthday, I meet my friend, Eric down on 2nd Avenue at VooDoo Donuts for some trashy, hydrogenated fat-filled, fried dough. A lines forms out of the door. It's a classic NY experience, without being in NY that is. We can't believe how much this place wreaks of indulgence. Yet two vegans indulge in the delights for a moment.

Hava calls me from the East coast at 3a her time to greet me with birthday wishes at midnight my time and vice versa. I draw a bath with candlelight nearby, enter the bathtub at midnight, fall asleep and reemerge at 1a and then fall into a soft, peaceful sleep in my real bed.

Saaaaaalem!

One of my oldest friends, Will Salem came to visit for something work-related. We joked that we'd probably see more of each other now than in the We played backgammon and drank tea down at what has become my favorite teahouse, Tea Chai Te, where at least 85% of the teas are organic and they carry vegan pastries. Need I say more? The smell is so fresh and sweet and they feature local artists. The support of local artists here is impressive and really quite extraordinary.

Will and I dined at E-Thai, a neighborhood Thai restaurant blocks from my house and he treated. Very nice. The next night, he invited me out with his brother-in-law, Donald and said they were going to play foosball and get drinks at Kel's an Irish bar. The thought of going out to bars ALWAYS intimidates me, yet whenever I do end up in one, I find that the experience is always far more approachable and less frightening than I imagine. Donald, Will and I share drinks down in the cellar of this bar....old stone walls, dark and very authentic. Smoke fills the air and I get shortness of breath, yet somehow endure it for the evening (2009 a ban on bar and restaurant goes into full effect - thank you for CA for leading the way!) Donald and I connect nicely and he asks if I'm interested in grabbing vegan food sometime.

Little Arugula - Green Thumbing in the Pacific Northwest

When I first moved into Macleay Gardens, I mourned the loss of my garden space, both at home and at Shakti Rising. I inquired about community gardens, but the waiting list was too long....good dilemma from my perspective. I asked management if I could use the little plot outside of my apartment and they gladly obliged. I was really relieved and happy to have my own private space and then quickly realized how territorial I could become when my neighbor planted some things in there (without asking me), including a PUMPKIN!

Pumpkins are in the squash family and their leaves alone can easily cover the size of this small space. I eventually let my frustration go. I got creative in this small space and decided to grow vertically. I planted tomatoes, pole beans, and attempted strawberries (they never did blossom) and absolutely marveled at the process of watching all of it grow. What amazed me most was how much the growth surprised me. On those cold and damp days when I thought I'd be lucky to get one tomato, and to be pleasantly presented with an abundance of tomatoes - Oregon Spring Tomatoes - ah, the miracle of a small seed.

Kraft's and Hava Visit!

July 10, 2008

One of my oldest and dearest friends from college, Cori came into Portland for a wedding and decided to spend the day with me. Lucky me. Time with her is rare these days, mostly because she's in the bay area now and has a young child and hubbie. She came with her longtime friend, Michele who is a riot and a blast to spend time with. What Cori didn't know is that Hava was delighting in surprising her! They hadn't seen each other in a long time and Hava had yet to meet Isabelle, Dan and Cori's peanut of a daughter.

Picking up Hava from the airport gave me chills. It was so wild for her to be visiting me in my new city, where we were both uprooted from San Diego! I showed her my apartment, she settled in and then we took the street car down to Blossoming Lotus, my favorite restaurant, where we met Dan and Isabelle and enjoyed a meal outside. Isabelle, was really attached to me and kept staring at me and calling me "Aunty Dani" in her endearing tone. I was flattered and completely smitten.

Hava and I then headed off to Powell's bookstore and headed in different directions because its near impossible to stay focused when you're perusing Powell's shelves! We sat in the cafe and read and chatted and both got sleepy at just about the same time awaiting Dan's call and tipoff that Cori was on her way to the hotel!

I have NEVER seen Cori shriek the way she did when Hava surprised her. It was fantastic! All of the girls made a puppy pile on the pull out bed, camped out and shared stories. That's got be one of my favorite memories of their stay.

The next few days are filled with so much fun: getting "crappy" nachos and "shrimp" from vegan grocery store, Food Fight, thrifting, a jaunt through Forest Park, a trip to the Schmid Family Farm to pick organic blueberries, Hopworks (an all organic brewery with a free tour and samples!). We crafted and rented a movie and read and relaxed out in the courtyard.

4th of July

July 4, 2008 – Columbia River/Vancouver

I had plans for the 4th with my friend, Eric. His colleague’s mom has a house on the river. It reminded me so much of Maine and this would have been my 10th summer there as part of the Institute for Humane Education staff– just across the border of Oregon, in Vancouver, WA overlooking the Columbia River and Mt. Hood. We spent all day watching the view from her lodge-like home, walking the property and eating thimbleberries (looks and tastes a lot like a raspberry and I think it's native) and gathering fallen cotton from a cottonwood tree! I saw a young beaver in a pond, an osprey and a kingfisher. It was so rejuvenating.

A Full Summer in Portland

July 1, 2008 - I purchase a two week pass to Yoga in the Pearl for $20.00. Now that's a steal. I did a couple of meditation classes, a couple of Yin Yoga and another type of yoga that I am overlooking now, but I liked all of them.

June 29, 2008 – Organic Beer Festival
There are 38 breweries alone in Portland metro. Locally crafted beer comprises 11% of statewide consumption! Eric and I entered the gates of this event and were impressed right away by the large number of vendors and the Tofurky stand! We ordered veggie bratwursts and beer and sat and listened to Irish music on the grass as dark clouds loomed in the horizon. Pending thunderstorm. Very cozy.

I spent a little bit of time visiting with Flex Car and am convinced this will be my next step in the car-free world. It seems there is ultimately no defensible reason to live with a car here. Relying on a car usually boils down to laziness, perceived "inconvenience" of walking/biking/transit, or the My Car phenomenon....at least in my own experience.

Late June 2008 - I parted ways with the organization I have come to know so well....an organization I witnessed develop and deepen in its vision, and organization that reflects my coming of age in a sense...the International Institute for Humane Education. The depth of my communication skills, my capacity to listen to others, and my desire to see profound connections everywhere I go.

I attended every single one of their residency trainings with the exception of their first through 2007, cultivating beautiful, loving and life-long friendships with the staff, and have enough memories of Maine summers to last that same lifetime. Then I was the first graduate in the country to earn a Master's degree in Humane Education from their affiliated program with Cambridge College and then I was hired on as their first graduate faculty.

In late June, I received a package in the mail. Upon opening it, I was met with the smell of Zoe's (the President of IHE and a dear friend of mine) basement, one of my favorite smells. It was a colorful canister of memories, color-coded by staff name and I took my sweet time reading through every slip of paper. I laughed and cried and mourned not being in Maine this summer.

June 23, 2008 – My friend, Eric's birthday is today. We celebrate over drinks at vegan (VEGAN!) bar, Bye and Bye. Here he is in this photo blowing out candles on a dessert.

June 21, 2008 - First Day of Farmer's Market
I found all of the organic booths at the farmer's market down at Portland State University (PSU) and left my business cards with a couple of them. One of them called me back and after a couple calls back and forth, we set up some weekly hours. Little did I know that the 7a shift on a Saturday would turn into a 6:30a and sometimes a 5:30a shift! Thank goodness for the perk of weekly produce, eh? Walking away with chard, kale, arugula, cilantro, dill, tomatoes, potatoes and most recently peppers is stupendous!

Springs Leads into Summer....

June 20 – This evening was really fun, but I was bummed to end it early. I had to be at the farmer's market at 6:30a to help unload and set up the Spring Hill stand! These early hours are testing me!

I tried to set aside my concern about the wee hour morning and savor the moment. My friend, Eric and I found a cute coffeehouse called Anna's Banana's which offers vegan pastries (almost every coffeehouse I've been in does) and fair trade coffees and teas. It's so refreshing to live in a city that supports such incredible things. Anna's Bananas is actually quite the dive actually and the walls are covered in anti-Bush slogans and vulgar bumperstickers. We sat out on the patio and chatted about what our future dating lives would look like and I enjoyed the pending muggy, t-storm-like weather.

June 19 – I found an ad at the New Renaissance bookstore for a Life Purpose workshop and made my way down to 23rd Avenue where it was being offered. Definitely worth the $12.00.

June 18 – A colleague of mine, Pamela Frasch who is an animal attorney and quite an extraordinary person suggested I sit down with Mike Mercer, Executive Director of the NW Earth Institute. She used to sit on the board and felt it aligned with the sense of community and sustainable vision I was looking for in a workplace. As it turns out, this was one of the best networking choices I could have made. I was greeted with a friendly "hello" from Deidre and an offer of vegan carrot cake! I discovered a compost bin in the kitchen counter. My kind of place.

Mike was incredibly receptive to me and passed my resume along to all of the staff members. I started an unpaid internship helping them develop their discussion guides. I had read about the value of strategic volunteers and decided I wanted to spend a couple days a week in a workplace setting so I could start aligning myself with my vision. I desperately wanted my skills to go to use somewhere and to be around actual people rather than submitting my cover letters and resumes into what was starting to feel like an oblivion.

June 14 – My dear friend, Sarah was visiting her mom and sister in Sammamish, just outside of Seattle. I had only spent about an hour in Seattle on the way out to see friends in Orcas Island and decided it would really nice to spend the day there. I journaled in a cafe and found a vegan pizza restaurant called Pizza Pi. The pizza I ordered (Rainy Day Pizza) was so good and I asked what was in the sauce. They said it was a secret sauce and couldn't tell me! I suspect it was a blend of Tofutti creamcheese and something else! On the way out to the car, a man said, "you know what?" and when I responded, "yes?" he said "you're very pretty." Thanks for making my day!

I watched Sex in the City for a 2nd time with Sarah and her mom and sister and I liked it even more the second time around.

I made the 3-hour drive back and remembered my old friend from high school, Chad was celebrating his PhD (Microbiology) and called to congratulate him! I'm so proud of all he has accomplished. He shared that he missed my sister and I and when would he see us again. Very endearing words from Mr. Barber.

Purple Rain Vegan Prom

June 13 - Vegan Prom – Only in Portland

The latest adventure was attending the one and only Purple Rain, 70's and 80's -themed Vegan Prom! My first sighting of a sign advertising the eclectic event was at Herbivore, an all vegan clothing and merchandise store in the nation's only vegan "mini mall." I mentioned the event to Eric and he asked if I wanted to go. How honored I was!

We went thrift shopping about a week before the event. Portland is a thrifting haven (there's one place here called the BINS where you can buy a POUND of clothing for $1.00!). I'd have to say House of Vintage was one of the funnier jaunts. We kept holding up garbs and getting the Yeahs or Nays. The Red Light store was probably our biggest goldmine. He found a nice shirt and I found my $12 dress (see photos!).

On the way into the dance, we joked that we could wear the same garb in Portland every day and blend right in. Portland is such a vintage town!

I managed to get Eric onto the dance floor and that was no small feat. Connie, one of Eric's co-workers and friends brought her first cousin and watching the two of them together was a riot. At some point, they were pretending to grab some random man's tushy on the dance floor.