Passing into the Next World

September 24, 2008

I'm not good with death and I'm not good with death from a distance. Really, what is a good way to deal with death? Is anyone good at sitting with it? A few hours before the presentation that I was to give tonight, Rachel, my older sister called me to share that they were going to be euthanizing Mocha, their dog of 13 1/2 years. My heart plummeted with pangs of sadness I hadn't experienced since Lily's (my beloved cat) death in 2003.

I had a bond with Mocha that was very special. She was like a little sister to me. I took her on special walks. I loved how she brought toys and shoes to the door to greet me, EVERY single time I came to the door. She had a calm demeanor and a sweet spirit that will always be with me. I remember the first day I met her back in 1994 when Rachel (and then Chris) brought her to our college apartments on campus. She was a tiny little thing and boy was she playful. She dragged a HUGE stuffed animal around the living room of the apartment building we lived in.

Seven months ago, Mocha was diagnosed with cancer and Rachel had made countless, dedicated trips for chemo treatments to shrink the tumors that had taken over her body. It wasn't until 3 days ago that she started to show signs of real slowing down and then Rachel knew it was time to let her go.

I finished my talk somewhere around 8p and she was to be put to sleep 30 minutes later. I was to head to a Jewish leadership and literacy class I'm enrolled in, but I didn't have the heart to go. I wanted to be "with" my family and the next closest thing to being home was to be there on the phone by there side. I had made the commitment to do this speaking engagement and could barely be present throughout. In fact, I think it may have been one of the lowest quality presentations I have ever done. I called around 8:15p and she had just fallen asleep in my niece, Alyssa's arms. The image of that brought an avalanche of tears to my eyes.

I lit a candle someone had given to me specifically for animal passings and said a blessing for her, "May this light steer you as you pass into the next world. May you know how loved you are by all of us." I woke up constantly throughout the night to the lit candle which cast a shadow around the room...a shadow that somehow provided a little bit of comfort. I miss you so much already, dear Mocha.

The Earth is Not an Ashtray

I am going to step up on the soapbox for a moment. Forgive me. I spent the morning of the 7th anniversary of September 11th picking up cigarette butts on my walk. I've developed an idea for a local campaign called "Butt Ugly." If there's one complaint I have about Portland, it's that the smoking waste is alarming and maddening. I don't know why, but smoking wasn't very common in San Diego, so it sticks out like a sore thumb here.

I decided that I could become more and more frustrated about cigarette trash or that I could so something about it. So, I started to collect cigarettes...I know, gross, but would I rather look at garbage or clean sidewalks? The more I noticed, the more I became obsessed about getting every cigarette off the ground and doing an educational campaign about the true price of tobacco - the insidious addictions, the animal testing, the watershed pollution, and the predatory advertising to youth and developing countries. Insert scream here!

In honor of September 11th, I decided to continue on my activist bent, so one-by-one, I called several companies from which I had accumulated junk mail. It was so gratifying to check each name of the list!

Citi - 30 days to remove my name

Northwest Airlines - 4-6 mo and I would be removed from the free mileage program, "World Perks" Ok, fine. Wait, what? I try to reduce some waste in the world and I'm penalized for it!

Netflix - 30 days

Comcast - 30 days

Southwest Airlines - 3 mo

Qwest - 3 mo

Crickets....dwindling summer days....

September 22, 2008

Just moments ago, the last minutes of summer dwindled away. I woke up this morning fairly early to bring my first day of autumn in with a swing. I enjoyed some hot tea outside, read an excerpt from my book about "finding" loving partnership and watched my kitty roam. Mist lifted off of the ground from a previously rainy night and there was a nip in the air. I could literally feel the equinox (derived from Latin "equi" meaning equal and Latin "nox" meaning night) in my bones.

I will miss the warmer evenings of chirping crickets....I wonder where they all go when the fall rolls around. Crickets have always been a favorite of mine. Perhaps that started with one of my favorite books as a kid, "The Cricket in Times Square" by George Selden. I adored that book.

Chester Cricket is the main protagonist... a musically talented country cricket from Connecticut is accidentally transported to the 42nd Street Subway Station in New York City, andfinds shelter in a newsstand and makes friends with Mario, a young boy, Tucker the Mouse and Harry the Cat.

***I digress***

In that same vein, a little factoid about crickets! Crickets do not rub their hind legs together to chirp. The left forewing of the male has a thick rib (a modified vein). The chirp (which only male crickets can do) is generated by raising their left forewing to a 45 degree angle and rubbing it against the upper hind edge of the right forewing, which has a thick scraper. This sound producing action is called "stridulation" and the song is species-specific.

I hope you enjoyed the digressions as much as I did.

To geekiness, D

Vaux Swift Amazement

September 3, 2008

Each September, thousands of migrating Vaux's Swifts use a local school, Chapman Elementary's chimney as their nightly roost before continuing their journey to southern Central America and parts of Venezuela. Up to 30,000 birds swoop down in a vortex, almost dive bombing the chimney in shifts. It's truly an amazing sight.

This phenomenon has been happening since 1982 and when Chapman's kids refused to use their chimney out of concern for the birds, they layered themselves in warm clothing as a source of heat. That melted my heart. Pun intended.

The first night I appeared on the scene, I saw a sign "I love S.P.! Meetup.com SP!" Perhaps that was Swift Patrol. The numbers went from dozens of people to hundreds of people. Only in Portland would people be cheering and applauding for birds and not fireworks.

I've returned a few times and have picnicked with friends.

Oregon Coast....

August 24, 2008

It had been nearly five months since I had seen the coast and I was missing it terribly. I was itching to get out and move and the gray, cold morning heightened these emotions. I decided to jump in the car with Charlie and take a drive to the Oregon Coast. It's a straight shot on the 26W route and it meanders through endless green and old farms. The hardest part of the trip was witnessing the remnants of logging....the superficial, thin line of trees left to give the false appearance of thick groves. I was angry that I had to think about such sadness, but beauty and ugliness exist side-by-side.

And I quickly saw the beauty...Haystack Rock, which is a 235-foot tall monolith (or sea stack), the third-tallest such structure in the world. The rock is adjacent to the beach and accessible by foot during low tide. Haystack Rock tide pools are home to many intertidal animals, including starfish, anemone, crabs, chitons, limpets, and sea slugs. The rock is also a refuge for many sea birds, including terns and puffins.

I enjoyed the sand in between my toes and the surrounding green. It made me miss Southern California for the first time since I've moved to Portland. I found a blanket in the back of my car and laid in the sunshine for what seemed like awhile.

I strolled through the cute, tourist (yet not saturated touristy) downtown and ended up at Sweet Basil where I sat outside in a little booth and ordered a really good grilled panini. The upbeat, friendly waiter smiled at Charlie. That caught my attention.